Feeble Musings of a Witless Mind

Comedy, humour and wit. I hope

Cease and Desist

with 6 comments

Dear Pope Benedict XVI

We are the proprietors of all copyright in a literary work entitled The Torah (The “Work”). We have reserved all rights in the Work, which was first expressed in material form around 3,500 years ago.

It has come to our attention that your work entitled The Bible is identical/substantially similar to our copyrighted Work. Permission was neither asked nor granted to reproduce our Work and your Work therefore constitutes infringement of our rights. In terms of the Copyright Statutes, we are entitled to an injunction against your continued infringement, as well as to recover damages from you for the loss we have suffered as a result of your infringing conduct.

In the circumstances, we demand that you immediately:

1. remove all infringing content and notify us in writing that you have done so;

2. credit all infringing content to ourselves in the following manner: “Jesus never existed”;

3. pay a licensing fee in the amount of £1 trillion trillion;

4. immediately cease the use and distribution of copyrighted material;

5. deliver-up for destruction all unused or undistributed copies;

6. undertake in writing to desist from using any of our copyrighted Work in future without prior written authority from us.

We await to hear from you by no later than close of business on Judgement Day.

This is written without prejudice to our rights, all of which are hereby expressly reserved.

Yours faithfully,

The Jewish Religion


6 Responses

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  1. Oh, the religion that ceased to exist in AD 70 when the Romans destroyed the Temple of God? That one? The one that we have carried forth for the last 2000 years? As soon as your religion shows gratitude for Catholics pulling you along all these years, hear this:

    Demand in your left hand, and urinate in your right hand and see which fills up the fastest.


    January 20, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    • Seriously. You really are serious about this comment.

      It’s a joke. Honestly – take a chill pill…

      I’m not even Jewish, or a Christian. Good old fashioned atheist.

      The Dude

      January 20, 2011 at 11:01 pm

      • Regardless, I think you’d better pay attention to how people of faith think. Do you remember that cartoon about Mohammed? People placed death threats on that guys head. I’m not saying anything like that, but religion is a touchy subject to people.


        January 21, 2011 at 8:01 pm

      • Lighten up.

        Religion is one big joke…

        The Dude

        January 21, 2011 at 11:51 pm

  2. Alright, this made me laugh. But I am a non-practicing, barely identified Catholic with a hearty disdain for frivolous lawsuits. Thanks for stopping by OINKtales.

    Mary the OINKteller

    January 23, 2011 at 4:28 pm

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