Feeble Musings of a Witless Mind

Comedy, humour and wit. I hope

Archive for the ‘The Womens Institute’ Category

Dear Dizzee

with one comment

Dear Dizzee,

In order for you to understand the intentions of this correspondence, I have attempted to write it in language that you may understand.

I am writing dis letta to invite you and your crew to a meeting of the Risby WI. We’ll be holding it at our crib, the Risby Village Hall, on Thursday 7 April and me and me bredren would be buzzin’ if you could make it.

We are a fine group of bitches, and we’re sure you’ll enjoy hangin’ wid us.

The topic of discussion for April will be the “Rise of Grime as an Anthem for Today’s Underprivileged Teenagers”. Your rise to success over recent years with tunes such as “Holiday” and “Bonkers” is like proper mental.

We will be expecting to hear some Grime blud.

Should you wish, we can turn up in bikinis and dance like dutty skanks, which you may film and use in an upcoming video.

Booya!

I look forward to your response.

Yours longingly,

Jane Burrows

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Dear Mr McCartney

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Dear Mr McCartney,

I am writing this letter to invite you to a forthcoming meeting of the Risby WI. It will be held in the Risby Village Hall on Thursday 17 March and we would be most grateful if you were able to attend.

We will be holding a pie baking competition in advance of the meeting, and so you are more that welcome to have your choice of the leftovers. However, it is unlikely that any of the pies will be vegetarian and so I will arrange for some cheese sandwiches to be made. The cheese will be rennet free.

The topic of discussion for March will be reincarnation and the afterlife. Given your religious experiences with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and the fact that you died in 1966, we thought you would be an ideal guest speaker.

We will not be requiring you to perform as we have a limited amount of time for the meeting, and the general consensus amongst the group is that your voice is not up to the standard it used to be.

I look forward to your response.

Yours willingly,

Jane Burrows

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_is_dead

Dear David

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Dear David,

Or should it be Mr Bowie?

I am writing this letter to invite you to an upcoming meeting of the Risby WI. It will be held in the Risby Village Hall on Thursday 17 February and we would all be delighted to meet you.

We offer the some of the best cakes in Suffolk. If you could let me know in advance what your favourite type is, then I can arrange for it to be baked.

The topic of discussion this month will be bi-sexuality in TV, Film and Music. We feel that you are ideally positioned to give an authoritative view on the subject.

It may be possible for me to arrange for a piano to be present – so please be prepared to put on a performance for us, once we have finished the discussion. I like the song “Cat people”.

You may also bring Imam along should you wish.

Yours lovingly,

Jane Burrows